Inside Gigi's World

I learned very recently from a co-worker’s client,  that in order to have a successful blog, said blogger should post a few times a week…..

Ummmm……

I never realized, until I started writing about my life, just how routine everything is.

I don’t mean that as a bad thing.

Some people need change.

But change makes me jumpy.

I like knowing where I am going and what to expect once I get there.

My children are like the worse best routines ever.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Hear me out,

I know that my alarm is going to go off every Monday-Friday that the school year is in session (except during vacations) at 6:20 AM.

I know I will wake J. up first and R.  20 minutes later.

I know if I don’t go in her room for a second time, J. will most certainly go back to bed and R. will literally complain about everything you could imagine, the sun is too bright, it’s too cold, too hot, no clean underwater (he knows how to wash his own damn cloths), what I am or am not making for dinner, blah, blah, blah….

And when we are suppose to be pulling away for drop off at school at 7:15, come 7:25, they will be fighting, one of them, if not both, will have gone back into the house 952 times because they forgot something. Then when I finally get mad and start yelling, R.’s infamous line, “we were ready by 7:15, you were the one that wasn’t ready”…..

7:26 AM, that’s right around the time I hear that sentence and that is right about the time I explode like a pressure cooker, my most colorful and imaginative sentence and  punishments start spewing out of my mouth and it is then, usually around 7:28AM,the “oh, come on Mom”s start.

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If nothing else, our routines have made us consistent.

I know, most times, what the kids are going to say or do before they even realize it.

Just like Rich (the husband), I know every morning he comes down stairs and starts his coffee. While that brews, he feeds the birds. Then if he is busy at work, he’s usually pretty quiet except for the occasional outbursts that he can no longer control…

“I don’t have time for this shit”

“Why do I need to put my password in when I’ve already done it 300 fucking times”

Maybe we just aren’t morning people…hahaha

But as you can see, when writing about yourself and your family and being so predictable, how the hell do I find enough things about to write multiple times a week?

Maybe I should start taking hallucinogenic?

I bet that would make washing underpants seem more fun…

I’d trip balls and turn the socks into puppets.

But I know what would really happen, my anxiety would be through the roof, I’d lock myself in the bathroom and Rich would probably have to call 9-1-1 to get me out.

So what was the excitement of the day, today?

Well, it was the weekend. I lived like a wild woman.

I ate chocolate pretzels for breakfast. I crossed stitched, watched the “Golden Girls” and stayed in my jammies, well after lunch time.

Today, I heard things in this house, that even I had to double take.

R. explaining how he seen someone get picked up by a “hospital truck”…..

Hospital truck?

“You mean an ambulance? “

“Yeah, what whatever, you know what I mean”. —said in a 15 year old tone

Explaining to J. that we can most definitely NOT highlight her eyebrows to match her hair.

So how do I write multiple times a week?

By hoping that people find as much humor in my life as I do…