Inside Gigi's World

When I was younger I hated being a girl.

Not for all the reasons that you would probably think,

The idea of menstruation never bothered me, in fact it was the complete oppisite, something my body could control, until I quickly learned that I really had very little control over it…

And I did always want the ability to pee standing up so needless to say the first time I realized that I couldn’t aim anywhere, it did leave me a little forlorn.

Nope, it was none of  those reasons at all.

It was because I quickly realized that the world valued my brothers’ lives more than my own and my father’s more than my mother’s.

I can recall at a very young age being asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, “A Mommy?”, “A princess?”, while my brothers were asked if they wanted to be doctors or an astronaut?

Did I want to be a princess? Hell No!!

I wanted to be Jem with pink hair.

I wanted to be Cyndi Lauper with a half shaved head, mismatched cloths and sunglasses bigger than my body and scream “She Bop” at the top of my lungs….it wasn’t until years later that I learned the song was about tossing yourself off.

I wanted to the first girl ever to join the tag team “The Bushwhackers” and fly so high into the ring off of the high rope and take down “The Natural Disaters”.

I dreamed of being the first girl “Karate Kid” and kicking the antagonist’s ass all by myself.

I didn’t dream of prince charming coming to save me, I dreamed about saving myself….

I was always greatful that my brothers and parents never made me feel any less for being a girl, the world did that enough for me.

When the world puts a value on a woman’s waist size or weight before her character, when the world teaches young girls that it is more importatnt to make herself more desirable for men then it is to worry about having a strong mind and a good education, when we teach our daughters that they can not wear tank tops and shorts to school when it is hot out because it might be “too distracting” for the boys, when we should instead teach our sons to keep their eyes to themselves and take accountability for their actions, when we teach our daughters that when boys hit them it means they like them instead of teaching our sons to keep their hands to themselves, then we are failing them.

I will never, in my lifetime, understand how so many people could have so many opinions about a single woman’s body, even if she is a complete stranger.

Too thin. Too fat. Too short. Too tall.

Nevermind how many opinions people have about a woman’s personality.

Too loud.

Talks too much.

Swears too much.

When she demands what she needs, she’s bossy.

When she voices that she in unhappy, she is being a bitch.

When she is tired, she is lazy.

When she decides she doesn’t want to  marry until later in life she is a spinster and when she decides she doesn’t want to get married at all it must be because she is a lesbian.

When she likes sex she is a slut and when she doesn’t she is a prude.

I will also never understand how, when a man runs around town waving his dick around, causing chaos, he is a man’s man but if a woman is proud to be a woman she is a liberal feminist.

FUCK THAT BULL SHIT.

I have been so lucky to be surrounded around some of the strongest women I know, flawed yes, but all the same AMAZING.

Because of them I have learned to say “No”. I don’t accept anything less then what I want and if I feel like a good cry that’s ok. Even when they strongest glass cups are over full, they spill before they break.

People can say women have a fair playing ground all they want, it is not true. There are at least 100 more hurdles we have to get over to even get to the same playing field as “the guys” and although we have come a long way, there is still a long way to go.

I am no longer ashamed to be a woman. I am strong. I am unapologetically me.

I believe in healing from the Earth and Moon. There is scientific proof in the earth and moon’s magnetic pulls and electrical currents but when you are a woman and say things like this outloud you are looked at as “strange” or a little “witchy”.

When woman healed back in time, they were burned at the stake for being witches. A birthmark was warrant enough to hang a woman for practicing witch craft, now we look to woman to heal and take care of everything as long as it doesn’t make a man feel smaller.

We are taught as female to give all of ourselves even when there is nothing left to give and then when we take something we are made to feel selfish or brash.

So some of you have testicles, big deal. I grew two full huan beings in me. Top that.

I am sure there are many of you that will disagree with me.

That is fine, I will live comfortably with that.

But ask yourself why it makes you so uncomfortable?

Gender can not be helped but someone being an asshole can….

I am not a feminist. I am just a woman’s woman. I think I can do anything just as good as a man. If not, better. Prove me wrong if you think otherwise.

I think my daughter’s value is the same as my son’s and mine the same as my husband’s.

For those of you who do not know me, I am pretty heavily covered in tattoos. One day while I was grocery shopping an older man I had walked by very loudly and demanding asked, “What does your husband think of all those tattoos?”

I stopped and turned around to face him, with a smile on my face, as polite as I could possibly be and responded, “I don’t fucking care.”