Inside Gigi's World

I remember when Sky was born.

We were just kids ourselves. We felt like adults, we thought we knew everything. But we knew nothing at all.

Once Skylee arrived, life looked different.

I remember the first time I held her. I was the same age that she is now.

Life looked different before she was here. Life looked small and suffocating like the dead end dump town we lived in. We wandered aimlessly passing the days trying to stay out of trouble, all the while, we were hoping trouble would come knocking on our door. We were rowdy.  We were rough around the edges. We didn’t have two pennies to rub together. The meal of choice was Marlboro Reds or Newports and endless caffeine. We dreamed of living life big but only had the means to live life small.

Once Skylee arrived, the air felt a little lighter. More hopeful. There was a purpose, even though she wasn’t mine, she still made life a little brighter.

She was all smiles and chubby leg rolls. She was silly and sincere all at the same time. Nothing has changed. She is still as bright and thoughtful as she was then.

She was the first child in what would lead to a string of babies but Skylee had us to herself for a while. She had us wrapped right around her tiny finger. I’d find myself rushing to Ware after work just to watch movies and eat snacks with her.

Once Richie was born, life looked different. Sky quickly took on the roll of the proud big kid. She was gentle and loved to hold her little baby. She fondly dubbed him “Yeah-yeah” because that’s what he would babble all day and all night long. She would sing to him and feed him. Her heart was filled with even more love then it had been before. They were inseparable. She loved him the first time she saw him.

Then came Abby.

Life looked different again.

Sky seemed complete. Like her old little soul had been waiting for her baby sister to arrive. As if her light had turned even brighter. She seemed even older and even wiser. She seemed more full of love which made her tiny stature walk taller.

Time went on, faster and faster with each milestone.

Life looked different but, we were so busy no one even really noticed all that much.

Sky was by my side on my wedding day.

She started school.

Life looked different.

She managed to keep her smile on her face and a dance in her feet.

Skylee, Richie and Abby were always together. There were movie nights and lazy days at the pool. There was playing in the sprinkler and riding bikes around the driveway while engaging in loud fits of laughter, driving the neighbors crazy. There were sleepovers and intense games on Super Mario Party on the Nintendo DSes. Dance parties, Halloweens, Christmases, Easter Egg hunts…life was moving even faster still but no one noticed.

Then the arrival of Jillieann came and just as she had before, Sky never skipped a beat. It was like she knew all along these fuzzy haired babies were always meant to be in her life. She wanted to help bathe her, change her, feed her. Sky wanted to hold her all the time. Sky finally got her little girl that would go along with playing dress up and doing make-up once Richie and Abby got old enough to tell her “no.”

Life looked different again.

Now there were four and they were always together. Richie and Abby were chasing each other around while Sky and Jill were painting each others toe nails. Family dinner night felt more hectic but the laughter (usually) was even louder.

And then came the arrival of the last of the babies, Hope. She came crashing into this planet harder than the comet that took out the dinosaurs.

Her arrival made life look different too.

Sky loved her just as much as the other three weirdos. This was her baby sister and she was proud of that.

In between all of these moments, there were even more.

Sky went to middle school and then high school.

She had her first boyfriend.

She played sports.

She won some games, she lost some too.

She became my favorite car-ride sing-along homie. Some of my happiest memories of her are singing in the car to that stupid “Cups” song. I would tell her, “Do you hear that Sky? One of these days, you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.”

There were lots of snuggles and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. There were scraped knees and little secrets.

She made it into dual enrollment and every so often we would drive home from school together.

She danced in her last recital.

She graduated high school.

And now she is off onto a new adventure…

Life will look different.

I know, I am not linked to Skylee by genetics. I don’t feel as though that makes her any less of my niece. She has held a piece of my heart from the first moment that I held her in my arms.

The first time she called me “Auntie” was on her own, she was not forced. It was one of the sweetest little sounds I had heard.

What is genetics anyways? There are plenty of people in this world that share genetics that know nothing of each other. They could walk past each other in the street and not even know who each other are.

Family is shared experiences and love. It is being there, whether it is easy or tough. Whether it makes you laugh or cry, whether it makes you strong or weak. Even if it means sometimes it is breaking your heart.

As Sky ventures off to college 869 miles away, 13.50 hours (depending on traffic), life will look different.

Family dinners will be a little more quiet.

Adventures will mean one less half-pint tagging along all the time.

It is the end of one chapter and the beginning of a new one.

Life will move a little different and still the same all at once.

The sun will still rise and set.

The morning will start just as it did the day before.

There will be little hints of the childhood she once had left behind as her adulthood lies in front of her, only now we will be watching from the sidelines.

Life will look different for us and for her.

I’ve learned something recently. More then one thing can be true at the same time.

For example, I can be sad that she is leaving but so very proud that she is going.

I can be worried that the world might be unkind to her and take advantage of her gentle heart and good nature but I can also sleep easy at night knowing that I have given her all the tools I possibly could pass down to help make her strong.

I can miss her, already, before she is even gone but also be excited for her to come home.

I can cry, mourning a time that is long in the past but find comfort in the same memories that feel like home.

Life looks different now, it happened so fast I didn’t even notice it.

To say Skylee is amazing is an understatement.

She was the child of a teenage mom, raised by and chased around by 20-somethings. She crashed through every statistical odd that were placed over her cute little head. She soared higher then I ever did and she still has a lot of flight left in her young wings. She was born in a small town but outgrew it fast. She was not meant to have her wings clipped by small town mentality.

Her life will look different now, she won’t notice it until the time has passed.

Just as my life looks different now because she is in it.