Inside Gigi's World

Anxiety drives me crazy.

I think of every scenario that could happen.

Couple that with ADHA and my mind literally, never settles.

Signing up for school was a big hurdle for me to jump over. Once I did, the countdown began.

Placement tests.

Setting up all remote learning accounts and passwords…..

Can we talk about remote learning for a moment?

There is so many online, remote services. Achieve, Moodle, Google classroom, Zoom, school email services, online student services, some kind of app that professors like to send surveys on…

That is seven individual accounts I had to sign up for, along with seven passwords I have to remember. I happy if I remember my password to check my voice-mail. W.T.F. Nevermind trying to figure out how all these apps work.

After finally figuring out how to get into my school email  (I actually had to make a second Microsoft account so I could bypass my regular email account-another password to remember) I figured, a week before classes, I should check to see if I have any messages from my professors. Great idea, right?  WRONG! I should have checked even sooner because guess what I had accumulated, due before the first day of my classes? One reading assignment, two quizzes, eight homework assignments and a partridge in a pear tree.

I then, realized, that even though I made it to the book store and got my books, I had none of the supplies I needed so it was back to campus I went.

I also bought myself a new printer to help with assignments and print outs of inappropriate cross stitch patterns. After I set up the printer, it read “Error” for hours. How many? Don’t know. But long enough that the printer almost went out the damn window….a few times.

And then the anxiety kicks in more….

Assignment due dates approaching faster and faster.

OMG.

How am I going to do this?

Kids.

Rich.

Home.

Work.

Dance.

Sleep.

God, I already miss sleep and it has only been a week.

I tell myself, “You can do this!”

Then the anxiety kicks in and says, “Like Hell you can!”

Take a deep breath.

September 7th. My first day of classes.

Time to sign on.

Did I do this right? Shit, what if my assignment didn’t post?!?!

Damnit, my web cam doesn’t work! I need my camera on for class!

Panic.

Panic.

Panic.

Then the day was over just as fast as it began.

I know I have to adjust if I want to go to school.

School must be the priority.

It has been so long since I have made something for myself a priority that I now feel like I’m neglecting the kids and Rich…..

Why always with the “Mom guilt”?

Then little things bumps in the road start turning into small victories.

Crock pot bags?!?! Why have I not used these sooner? I made two dinners (was one even a new recipe called  “cowboy casserole “) with enough leftovers for lunches during the day. It literally took less than a minute to clean! Packed up the leftovers, pulled the bag out and threw it in the trash and wiped everything down! Not only did I buy more of these bags but I’m also starting to think I should take stock out on them!

I realized I have to make time for reading and homework. This is a must. So in between teaching dance classes and taking them, I was lucky enough to find myself in the break room.

I was able enough to pass in one assignment after another. I also don’t think I bombed any of my quizzes.

I’m trying to take the semester in baby steps.

One class at a time.

One chapter at a time.

One assignment at a time.

One week down.

I’m so tired. My eyes are tired. My mind is racing. I just need to focus.

Welp, signing off for now! May the luck of good health follow everyone this school year.