Inside Gigi's World

People try but it is nearly impossible to put into words.

Everyone’s relationship is different.

Every person is different.

Thus making every experience different.

No two relationships are the same.

It is funny just how much input or opinions or criticisms or “helpful advice” some people feel the need to have about your relationships in life when most of their own relationships are complete shit shows.

I knew I was always meant to be with Rich.

Now hear me out, I never talked to him more then a sentence in high school. I thought he was the arrogant jock, star baseball player that thought his shit didn’t stink. But I realize now, that was not him. He was a smart ass but pretty quiet…..until you get to know him.

It’s so funny how people perceive us as a couple, I’m the loud one, he’s the quiet one. If only that were true. I talk so much when I am out in public because I never get a word in at home……

But when that tall, Abercrombie hat, shell necklace wearing fellow walked in with those brown eyes, I felt like we’ve done this dance before. My heart felt home.

I often think of where the years have taken us.

People tell you about the ups and downs but that was their ups and downs. It’s different when you’re going through them. And it isn’t until after you’ve made it through to the other side that 99% of the time you both probably acted like asses.

Then the kids came and that brought a different kind of Rollercoaster. One, that no matter how much you think you’re ready for it, you’re not. And you want to close your eyes shut so hard and you feel sick most of the time but then you decide to open your eyes and hold on even tighter because you wouldn’t want to miss a second of this beautiful ride. I think, if I am being honest those early years with the kids Rich was the one screaming for most of the ride and I had to hold his hand but now that the kids are older, he is mostly holding mine.

We have literally been together since we were kids. I was only a year and a half older then R. is right now. We’ve had graduations, senior banquets, concerts, sleepless nights, making out in cars and grocery shopping for the first time. The first night we woke up from the sound of a crying baby, preschool graduations and wondering if we’d ever see our daughter grow past four feet (by the way she did last year if you were wondering) or if the boys legs would ever be healthy enough again to play sports (they are!)

We always find a way to the other side. Together. Sometimes one of us may carry the load a little heavier and that’s okay because sometimes that needs to be done but we always seem to find a way together.

We do it because we choose too. Because we both have decided that our hearts are meant to be together and to not keep them together would just be unkind.

That doesn’t mean it is easy by any means. I’ll call him an ass when he is being one and there are times when I need to be told to stop acting like an ass.

It’s a give and take.

I don’t think we will ever have everything figured out, if we did then where would be the fun in that?

After all of these years, after all of this time. After all of the advice and of the love and struggle, there is only a few small things I have learned after all these years that I would ever tell a new couple starting out if it was ever asked.

If you can make it after the first 7 years it is smooth sailing. That came from my Mom. I’m not sure how true that is but after those crazy 7 years, things did seem to become a little easier.

If you wait to have kids until you’re ready whether it be financially or mentally, you will literally be waiting for the rest of your life. It doesn’t matter what you do, what you say or what plans you have, throw a baby into the mix and throw everything you’ve ever known out of the window.

And last but not least, and I say this with love and laughing, the worst advice ever given to me was from my Gram, never go to bed angry. I remember the first time I went to bed mad at Rich I thought our marriage was over. Like I was complete failure for ruining my marriage because I went to bed mad. Then, after a long talk with myself (yes, I know what I said, myself) I realized my feelings, my anger didn’t have a bedtime. It wasn’t a damn small child and if I want to wake up pissed off from the night before, that’s OK. And when we are both ready we will talk about it and if we start yelling or getting angry again then that’s what we do until we work it out. It’s when you stop talking or yelling, that’s when the real problems start.

Today, 20 years ago, I met a boy.

Today, 13 years ago I married that boy.

And today, 20 years later, when we were told we wouldn’t last, we were too young. When we were told the odds were against us, we are still here, with our middle fingers waving in the air. Well, actually that’s me and he’s telling me to put my damn finger down.

I’m always hopeful for a 100 more but I’d take old age with purple hair and a house full of grandkids that we get to chase around together.

Happy Anniversary my love.